Monthly Archives: March 2010

Lollapalooza Engages In Massive Game of Wheel of Fortune

Which is appropriate, since both Wheel of Fortune and rumored headliner Soundgarden haven’t mattered since the 1990s. Either way, Lolla’s website has a teaser of their line-up with all the letters removed except for O. Still, the Spoonmen seem to fit well in that first blank, while other rumored artists Lady Gaga, Arcade Fire and The Strokes fit well into the 3, 4, and 5 spots. Anyone have any guesses? And remember back in the day, when festivals used to just announce their line-ups and then if you liked it you’d buy a ticket?

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Lost – “The Package”

Let’s pretend for a second that you are a Harry Potter fan who endured the lengthy wait and picked up your copy of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows at the midnight release party. But instead of getting to tear into the book and read it at your own pace, you were only allowed to read one chapter per week. Sure, some weeks you’d get chapters like the awesome Snape origin story, but you’d have a lot of weeks where you only got Harry and Hermione bitching at each other in the forest and looking for horcruxes. Would that have meant the book sucked? You couldn’t really say for sure either way, until you finish the whole thing.

The point I’m trying to make is that Lost, for better or worse, is operating on a totally different level from any other television show. It has cast aside the notion of telling a relatively complete story within an hour and instead is treating each episode like a chapter in a book. The plot moves along, and we get glimpses of character development, but there isn’t really a beginning, middle, and end. Contrast this with even a show like The Wire or Mad Men (or seasons 1-4 of Lost). Sure, both of them engage in long-term (in the case of The Wire, veeeeery long-term), novelistic storytelling, but their episodes still generally function like we’d expect a normal episode of television to. Its useful to evaluate those shows on an episodic basis because these episodes tell an emotional satisfying tale with a beginning, middle, and end (even as they also meet the long-term needs of their season’s story arc). I’m not convinced its as useful to do so with Lost.

I realized all this after “Recon,” but didn’t mention it last week because “Ab Aeterno” was so awesome that it didn’t really matter. But with an episode like “The Package” it kind of does. As an hour of television, it wasn’t exactly the best. But as a chapter of the sixth season of Lost, it did everything it needed to do. And for those of you who complain about not getting enough answers, you should probably clarify what it is you mean by that. Because a whole lot of questions were answered tonight. They just probably weren’t the ones you were hoping for. To wit:

Q: Is Jin actually with Team Smokey? What does he think of that whole thing?

A: He’s not on-board, that’s for sure. He chastises Sawyer for throwing in with Smokey and wants a way out. He’s intrigued by Smokey’s offer to reunite him with Sun, but would rather set off on his own and look for her at the Temple and/or the Beach. Either way, its a moot point since Widmore’s commando squad busts into the camp (as hinted at by that green, Paranormal Activity-esque surveillance shot in the first scene), subdues everyone, and whisks Jin to Hydra Island.

Q: What about Sun?

A: She’s still on Team Jacob, but barely. With Richard gone – possibly forever – and no one knowing what to do, Sun is getting increasingly frustrated. She heads to her old garden, where Jack tries to tell her about the lighthouse, but Sun is even less into it than he was. Smokey shows up, offering to reunite Sun with Jin, but unlike most of the other people so far, Sun has the sense not to trust him and she runs away. Smokey chases her, but it comes to an abrupt end when she hits her head on the branch.

Q: Oh no! I hope that doesn’t cause any sort of brain damage.

A: Actually, Sun loses the ability to speak English. She still understands it though. This doesn’t really lead to much, other than some stalling and some amusing moments from everyone. Richard comes back to camp and tells everyone they need to go to Hydra Island and destroy the Ajira plane but, thanks to the concept of dramatic irony, Sun insists (in Korean) that Hydra Island is the one place where she will never, ever go no matter what. Because she needs to find Jin.

Q: Does Ilana trust Ben?

A: This is probably not a question many of us had, but I just wanted to mention the awesome moment where Ilana suspects Ben of knocking out Sun and Ben tries to convince her otherwise, despite the fact that everyone knows what a liar he is. Well played!

Q: Hey, remember that brainwashing room from Season 3. Is that ever going to come back?

A: Yes it is! When Team Widmore grabs Jin, they end up locking him back in there, where he accidentally triggers all the brainwashing stuff. Zoe confirms the room existed because the Dharma Intiative was experimenting with brainwashing.

Q: Speaking of Zoe, how did she get time off from TGS with Tracy Jordan to accompany Widmore to the island?

A: We’ll have to wait on that one, but we did learn that Zoe is a geo-physicist who is woefully under-prepared to lead any sort of assault against a homicidal pillar of black smoke. She’s more concerned about the pockets of electromagnetic energy that Jin mapped out when he was in the 1970s.

Q: What about Widmore?

A: Widmore’s hanging around Hydra Island with his team.

Q: How much does he actually know about Smokey?

A: Actually not too much more than you or I did before “The Incident” if you believe him. Smokey gets mad when Jin is abducted and heads to Hydra Island with Sayid to get Jin back. Smokey gets held up behind Widmore’s sonic pylons (although a couple of foolhardy mercenaries try to shoot him, even though that seems to be a bad idea) and there he has a little chat with Widmore. Widmore reveals that, while he knows Smokey isn’t Locke, the rest of his information comes from ghost stories and spooky noises. Smokey, however, seems to think Widmore knows more than he’s letting on. After a few tense moments, Smokey bails.

Q: Why does Smokey need Jin so badly anyway?

A: He tells Claire that he can’t leave the island unless all the candidates go with him.

Q: What else is happening with Team Smokey?

A: Claire is feeling a little left-out of the whole candidate thing, but Smokey assures her that she’s just as important to him as they are. He also tells her that Kate isn’t a candidate (her name was crossed off in the cave, but not the lighthouse), but he needs her to rally the remaining ones. After that, though, if something were to happen to her, he probably wouldn’t care too much (neither would I, Smokey!).

Q: What about Sayid?

A: We’ll come back to him at the end, but for now, its worth noting that Sayid “feels nothing.” Not happiness, not anger, nothing.

Q: What does Widmore want with Jin anyway?

A: Its still not quite clear, but he goes to talk to Jin and shows him pictures of Sun with Ji Yeon. It is the first time Jin has ever seen his kid and its a pretty powerful moment. Widmore then says that if Smokey gets off the island, everyone will die. Jin seems kind of intrigued, and I don’t know if I’m the only one, but I got the sense that he may be kind of onboard with Team Widmore. Widmore then ups the ante by offering to show Jin “the package.”

Q: And Sun?

A: She’s moping on the beach when Jack thinks to have her write down what she wants to say. They have a nice moment where Jack promises to help Sun reunite with Jin and get off the island, even if Richard is trying to blow up the plane. Sun says she trusts him.

Q: Before we get to the cliffhanger, do you think you could explain why Jin was in that meat locker in Sayid’s flash-sideways?

A: Sure thing! In AlternaLAX, AlternaJin gets out of custody and goes to a hotel, where we learn that he and AlternaSun are not married (????). They are, however, sleeping together and, indeed, they seem way more passionate than they did in the original 2004. Rather than running away from Jin, Sun has saved up a bunch of money to run away with him. But, unfortunately, Keamy and Omar show up looking for the money Jin was supposed to have. TSA confiscated it, so Sun (through AlternaMikhail, better known to viewers as Patchy or the Bastard Who Killed Charlie) offers to use the money she was saving up for her and Jin to pay him.

Keamy takes Jin as a hostage and locks him in the meat locker where he tells him that the money Paik sent with Jin was a bounty for Keamy to kill Jin for sleeping with Sun. At the bank, Sun finds out all her money is gone (Paik took it all). She and Mikhail come back to the restaurant where Sayid has killed Keamy and his goons and left Jin alive (but didn’t help him more than just giving him a box cutter). Jin shoots Mikhail (in the eye, natch) but a stray bullet catches Sun, who is also pregnant (sounds like somebody needs a fertility doctor!).

Q: What was behind that locked door?

A: While it’s within the realm of possibility that we didn’t learn this tonight (we never actually saw someone unlock the door and take you-kn0w-who out from behind it), we did learn that Widmore has brought a special package to the island as their only hope of beating Smokey. And that package isn’t a what, but a who. Meanwhile, Smokey sent Sayid to go spy on the sub and, in the episode’s closing moments, he sees Desmond, all spacey and probably drugged out, being taken out onto the dock. See you in another life, brutha!

So, as I touched on at the top of this unnecessarily long recap, this was not a great hour of television. But there was a lot of interesting plot movement, a couple of really touching moments, and the triumphant return of a fan favorite. Unlike “Ab Aeterno” (or many of the best episodes from the first four seasons of Lost), “The Package” didn’t really succeed at telling a single, self-contained story. But Lost isn’t really working in that way anymore. Characters like Jack and Sayid, who only had brief moments this week, are moving along arcs that will track all season instead of just over an episode or two. Jin and Sun, meanwhile, each had some strong moments (keep in mind, this will likely be the last Sun and Jin episode ever). And the show continued to move this season’s story forward.

If it sounds like I’m simply going to extreme lengths to justify not particularly caring for an episode of Lost, fine. But I honestly think that judging these episodes as “good” or “bad” is an waste of time until this season wraps and we see where its going. I don’t mean to say that it is impossible for Lost to make a bad episode, but that hours like this, which move the plot along and continue to develop whatever the hell is going on with the flash sideways, can only be evaluated once we know how they fit into the larger picture. This is the last time anyone is going to be watching Lost on a weekly basis and, honestly, I don’t think this story is meant to be consumed that way. If I may use another cross-media reference, it would be kind of like listening to The White Album one track per week. Some weeks you would get “Mother Nature’s Son” but other weeks you’d get “Piggies.” In the end, though, it’s only The White Album with all 30 songs.

Jonah’s Score: 66

TUIW Grade: B

Some Theorizing:

-V: They Return

-Now that Desmond is back in play (hooray!) why do you think he’s so important? My theory is that he has the ability to shift between the two timelines, so he’s the only person who can call in the AlternaLostie cavalry to stop Smokey.

-And, not to toot my own horn, but I totally called it!

-Does everyone else think Widmore was withholding a little from Smokey? I’m sure he knows more than he was letting on.

-I’m too tired to speculate on the Sayid-related developments. Anyone have any ideas?

-Also, its worth noting that AlternaJin and AlternaSayid seemed to have no moment or even glimpse of recognition at all. They might as well have been strangers.

-Why is Zoe so interested in the electromagnetic energy? Remember that it was the release of that energy from The Swan that first caused Desmond to skip through time, so maybe Team Widmore is hoping that more of that energy will cause him to skip through dimensions?

-So Smokey really does want to use the plane to get off the island? Richard seemed to think so and it explains why Widmore set up so close to it. But there’s something a little mundane about all the evil and darkness in the world using an airplane to leave a magic island.

-A couple weeks ago, Smokey seemed to be planting the seed with Kate that Aaron would be better off without Claire. This week he did the opposite with Claire. I like the parallel between this and Sawyer’s plan to turn Smokey and Widmore against each other. Maybe Smokey is hoping to distract Sawyer enough that he won’t be able to sneak off the island.

-Smokey needs all the candidates to leave the island with him. Maybe being the island protector isn’t even a choice. As long as there’s a candidate around on the island, Smokey can’t leave (and, presumably, he can’t kill or harm any of the candidates either; notice he couldn’t even take Sun with him against her will).

-Hope any West Coasters weren’t killing time before Lost on Twitter, since “Desmond” was a trending topic.

-While we’re talking about Twitter, Damon Lindelof had a very interesting tweet. “In one week, the conversation is going to change.”

-SLIGHT SPOILERS FOR NEXT WEEK: As you might expect, next week is a Desmond episode, but will it be a flashback or a flashsideways?

-And finally, here’s our weekly reminder that Michael and I will be back in this space on Thursday for a TUIW Conversation where we break down “The Package” a little more. Hopefully that discussion will be much less theoretical than this one.

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Baby E-Trade Commercials to Become Films

Tuesday, March 30 2010: The Day Life Was No Longer Worth Living. As much fun as this little human civilization experiment has been, The AV Club gives us definitive news that it is all coming to an end:

Pakima.com is reporting that those viscerally unnerving yet inexplicably successful E-Trade talking baby commercials are being adapted for the big-screen for Fox. Actress-screenwriter Katie Dippold is penning the script.

Studio Head 1: What should we do with the 1 billion dollars we just made from Avatar? Recommit to creativity? Double down on visceral, 3-D experiences that transport audiences to new worlds? Invest in directors with both a clear vision and technical expertise?

Studio Head 2: Ooooor…we could fund a movie based on those creepy talking baby commercials that E-Trade does.

Studio Head 1: This is a can’t miss idea! Let’s do it!

In case you have never seen these commercials, here is by far the creepiest, where the baby’s girlfriend (also a baby) confronts him with her suspicions that he’s banging another girl (who, we’ll assume is also a baby) on the side:

Anyone who pays to see this movie is banned from TUIW forever. Here is a Fugazi video for us to all channel our rage:

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Bubble Watch: ABC Renews Castle

Though Castle isn’t a show we usually cover here at TUIW, we’re big fans of Nathan Fillion, thus making it great news to hear Michael Ausiello report that ABC has renewed the show for a 22-episode third season. A bubble show not a year ago, Castle found its audience, and last night, grabbed 14.5 million viewers, the highest rating for a scripted ABC show in that timeslot in 14 years. Perhaps it’s time TUIW reconsidered Castle.

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LCD Soundsystem: This Is Happening

LCD Soundsystem have named their album (due May 18), and it’s awesomely titled This Is Happening. We don’t always devote full posts to album names, but this was too good to pass up. The cover is above. In case you missed it, the first taste of This Is Happening is here.

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New Roky Erickson & Okkervil River

The good folks at Stereogum is sharing a small taste of the new album by Roky Erikson, which features backup band Okkervil River. The Will Sheff-produced album, True Love Cast Out All Evil, comes out 4/20 on Anti- , and Stereogum has two tracks, “Be and Bring Me Home,” and “Goodbye Sweet Dreams.” We won’t steal the links here, so head on over to Stereogum here.

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Movie Review: Hot Tub Time Machine

Time travel is hot again within science fiction circles, most notably with last year’s mindbending season of a certain show we already write about too much around here (although I think its 2000s renaissance can all be traced back to Primer, one of my favorite movies ever). But so far, no film has had the guts to go the Back to the Future route and play time travel for laughs. And, more importantly, no one has realized the sure fire comic goldmine that is a time-travelling hot tub. But what would you call a film with such a premise? Surely it would need to be an attention-grabbing title with some immediacy. One that hinted at the numerous possibilities of such a film, without giving the whole game away.

Hot Tub Time Machine is the story of three friends (and a nephew who tags along) who travel to 1986 in their ski resort’s hot tub. They inhabit their 1986 bodies and must decide whether to protect the space-time continuum by doing exactly what they did or risk destroying the future in the name of having way more fun than they did the first time through (although, as Daniel Faraday tells us, it doesn’t matter because whatever happened, happened) (I promise this will be the last Lost reference). In keeping with our need for a deal in the current economy, Hot Tube Time Machine is really three films in one. In the first, John Cusack starts in a mash-up of High Fidelity (yay!) and Serendipity (boo!) as a guy who is scared of commitment or something and meets this flighty girl who he likes (and there’s music or something?). In the second, Craig Robinson is married to a shrewish woman who cheats on him (and wants him to take her name! Just like the ol’ ball and chain…am I right fellas???). Finally, well there’s not much of a plot for Rob Corddry’s storyline, he just acts like he dropped in from one of the weaker Apatow movies.

When Hot Tube Time Machine works, it does so in one of two ways. The first is the goofy fun it has with the conventions of time travel narratives, like the running joke with Crispin Glover’s bellhop, who has one arm in 2010, but two arms in 1986. It also head-fakes towards being an homage to 1980s comedies, like John Cusack’s Better Off Dead. But, unfortunately, the film spends waaaaay too much time on the bland trappings of modern comedy, with all the unfunny raunchiness of something like last year’s The Hangover (but none of the inspired, Galifianakis schenanigans).

It doesn’t help that Corddry, Cusack, and Robinson make for a completely unbelievable group of friends. No single member of that gang seems like he would hang out with any other one, which makes the movie’s dumb FRIENDSHIP IS AWESOME theme that much hollower. Individually, they each have some nice elements that they bring to the table, but together it is all too much. As an unabashed Cusack fan, it is disappointing to see him given the least to play, with the script sticking him in the bland good guy role. His storyline feels like someone summarizing a John Cusack movie (and not a terrible compelling one) and is just a total waste of time. Robinson is kind of funny (although his plot is even more grating than Cusack’s) and Corddry is Corddry, but the unlikely standout is Clark Duke, who gets to run around and make sarcastic comments the whole time as Cusack’s dorky nephew.

No human could rightfully expect Hot Tub Time Machine to be a comedy version of Primer or Timecrimes, but an 1980s soaked Wet Hot American Summer wasn’t out of the question for a film that clearly has such affection for the time period it’s mocking. But, unfortunately, Hot Tub Time Machine isn’t that movie. Its best moments simply made me want to go watch Back to the Future or Grosse Point Blank and, despite getting funnier towards the end, those moments were few and far between.

Jonah’s Score: 41

TUIW Grade: C-

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Oh No! It’s (Another) Godzilla!

Godzilla used to be awesome. The original films set the standard for monster disaster movies. Then they started sucking. Then Roland Emmerich made one. Needless to say, Godzilla has been absent for the last 12 years. But he’s back! Legendary Pictures (The Dark Knight, 300) has acquired the rights to make a new American Godzilla that may or may not suck. From the press release:

Legendary Pictures announced today that they will develop and produce a new film based on Toho Company’s famed GODZILLA character.  Through the terms of the agreement, Legendary Pictures has acquired the rights to produce a movie inspired by Toho’s Godzilla, a franchise the Japanese company created and has nurtured for over fifty years.

Well if the original producers are working on it, it has to be a hit right? It worked for Indiana Jones 4! We’ll pause our hating for now and wait, extra patiently, for the new version.

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Still Dead Orson Welles to Narrate Film

Though he’s been dead for 25 years, Orson Welles will be narrating an upcoming live-action/CGI holiday movie, Christmas Tails, which of course needs to be in 3D as well. Now, before you start worrying about Ouija boards and seances, the narration will come from a tape recorded in 1985, shortly before Welles’ death. Apparently, Welles recorded a narration of the eponymous book by Robert X. Leeds, and his estate approved everything. Before you get up in arms, let’s not forget Welles’ last living credit was as narrator for an animated Transformers movie. Just sayin.

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New Hold Steady – “Rock and Roll Problems”

Vulture has another new song from the Hold Steady’s highly anticipated new album, Heaven is Whenever (May 4) called “Rock and Roll Problems.” Vulture describes it as thus:

Over fat power chords, Craig Finn sketches out a story full of weary bad girls, drugs, burnouts, dancing, and conversations that take place in kitchens during house parties. Sounds great to us!

Sounds great to us as well. Listen here.

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