Curb Your Enthusiasm – “The Table Read”

Curb Your Enthusiasm has been having one of its finest seasons ever, but even by its recently increased standards, this week episode was a stand-out. “The Table Read” mixed a little Seinfeld fan service and a nod at the elephant in the room with Larry David’s fleet-footed comic construction for a pretty stellar half hour.

After weeks of distractions and haggling, Larry and Jerry have gotten the Seinfeld reunion going and are actually at the table read point. While I’m not a huge Seinfeld fan (I thought it was very funny, but not life-changingly so) (to put it another way, Seinfeld is Larry David’s Homicide; Curb is his The Wire), it was pretty thrilling to see the whole gang back together. As for the reunion, it seems like Jerry and Larry put some effort into figuring out that portion of the show, because it certainly felt true to what a Seinfeld reunion would be. Elaine’s had a child thanks to a generous sperm donation from Jerry; but the kid is unaware that Jerry is the father. George lost all his money (made from a uniquely George iPhone app called iToilet) in the Madoff ponzi scheme, but his ex-wife got out in time and now George has to remarry her for his money, while Kramer is hiring hookers to get into the carpool lane and Newman is still Newmaning around. I have no doubt that if this reunion show were actually produced it would be pretty dire, but instead we get the best of both worlds: little glimpses into the show within a show filtered through the warped lens of Curb Your Enthusiasm.

For example, how else could we have learned Jerry’s helpful advice not to loan Jason anything that can be inserted. Larry learns that the hard way when he loans Jason a pen at the table read (and, by the way, Jason Alexander’s self-important obnoxiousness makes him my favorite Curb Version of a Seinfeld Actor, barely beating out Jerry’s uncanny mind-meld with Larry). Meanwhile, Larry’s new assistant (played by another 90s sitcommer, Newsradio’s Vicki Lewis) has introduced Larry to her daughter (and, in a bid for Mother of the Year, informed the whole crew that her daughter has a “rash on her pussy”); and then proceeded to give her Larry’s number. Larry quickly becomes annoyed with his new text buddy, leading to an awesome all-caps text (“I don’t watch Wizards of Waverly Place. I’M AN ADULT!!!!”). Larry has to apologize to the girl and he gives her a very nice gift: Jason’s crappy replacement pen (a Seinfeld regifting shout-out?). One of the most brilliant parts of this storyline is the way the whole “rash on her pussy” thing constantly hangs over it, like a timebomb waiting to go off. Especially during the scene where he apologizes to her at lunch, you keep waiting for Larry to say something wildly inappropriate about said rash, but it doesn’t come then.

But the episode’s real action starts with Michael Richards’ fear that he’s getting Grote’s Disease (a fake disease and call-back to the episode where Larry has to host a benefit Rob Reiner is putting on for Grote’s). Larry mentions Danny Duberstein, who also had it and lived a perfectly happy life. Until he died, unbeknownst to Larry, two months ago, in great pain from Grote’s. Not wanting to freak out Michael, Larry has Leon pose as Danny Duberstein and go to Michael to talk about it. We all knew some sort of Leon-Michael Richards run in was inevitable, but the way Curb handled it was just brilliant. Michael’s reaction to Leon opening the door, dressed like a member of the Nation of Islam was priceless and, of course, how else could it end but with Michael Richards angrily berating Leon in public (“I wish there was some word I could call you that would make you as angry as I feel right now!”), while horrified on-lookers film the spectacle on their camera phones.

But in between Michael Richards’ winning pokes at himself there was a whole lot of Leon. JB Smoove completely took over the second half of the episode, from his gonzo list of Grote’s symptoms to his complete ignorance of Seinfeld. Rather than just droning on, how about just a sample of his funniest lines from the episode:

“Everything I ate tasted like peaches! I forgot how to multiply!”
“I Danny Dubersteined the shit out of him!”
” Now, who are those two? Who is that fat motherfucker?”
“If I’m fucking 6 women, 3 times a day, 7 days a week, how many times per week am I fucking?”
“There are two things Danny Duberstein is good at: math and fucking”

But the whole episode, from Marty Funkhouser’s labored set-up and dirty joke to the hilarious ending in the doctor’s office (where the timebomb finally explodes), this week’s Curb was a classic.

Jonah’s Score: 96

Tangled Up in Wires Grade: A